The Old Apartment

This week was crazy and it made me realize that this is really going to happen. On Tuesday, I had my orientation with the other two women who will be going to Taiwan from Ohio. We also met with the representatives from the Taipei Economic and Cultural Affairs Office. They flew in from Chicago for the day and, of course, the people from the Ohio Department of Education who are involved in the program were there. We also got to meet two teachers who were part of the first group from Ohio and the past president of the N. American Taiwanese Women's Association.

It was a long meeting but so helpful. It was also very nice to put faces with names. I have to admit I've been increasingly worried about my choice as the time to leave approaches but this meeting helped push those fears aside and bring forth my excitement again. It was always there just buried behind some doubts.

They gave us so many resources and materials in that meeting. I've been spending much of my time since then going over them. This is a fascinating and beautiful culture that I'll be living in. I think I will learn so much more than I can possibly teach. I've already begun learning a great deal about myself as this process gears up.

I did have to take time away from my reading to prepare to move. I need to hand over the keys to my apartment on July 31. I decided to make the major move the weekend before so I could find help from friends and thoroughly clean the place before I turn them in to the office. As the time got closer, all the help that was offered disappeared. This was a major stressor for me as I had some large and heavy pieces of furniture to move. It wasn't my friends' faults, though. It's the middle of summer and for the most part vacations got in the way. Luckily, my friend Ann was able to get her husband, Sean, to help. He and I moved the furniture and Ann helped with the boxes and moral support.

I have to admit I've had some tearful moments looking at my empty (mostly) apartment. That apartment was my first step into a more independent life after the breakup with my boyfriend. The end of that relationship was one of the best things to ever happen to me and so many other wonderful things have happened in my life as a result, including this move to Taiwan. I've never really been attached to the apartments I've lived in before but this one is a symbol of my personal renaissance. I know there is something even better in store for me but that doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye to the old.

Just because it's not easy doesn't mean I won't do it. I've had my moments of insanity thinking I should back out. Fortunately, they've been very brief and I have many wonderful friends who remind me why I'm doing this and how lucky I am. It's not long before my excitement and enthusiasm returns.

I am coming to the end of an era in my life but like Semisonic says in their song Closing Time..."Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." I'm ready for another new beginning. I'm looking forward to seeing where it takes me. I can't wait to write all about it and share it with everyone.

P.S. For those of you who are wondering, I leave early in the morning on Aug. 16.

You are here...

I can finally put that dot on the map. I received my contract from Taiwan's Ministry of Education today. With the contract was a profile of my school and what (I believe) is my address in Taiwan. It's a relief to finally know where I'll be going.

I'll be teaching English twice a week to third, fourth, fifth and sixth grade students at Wu Fu Elementary School in Kaohsiung County near Fongshan City. Follow this link to learn a little more about the city I'll be calling home http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fongshan_City

I'm happy that I'll be in a metropolitan area. I'm a city girl at heart and want to be around people. Fongshan is basically a Taiwanese suburb of Kaohsiung City, which is the second largest city in the country (Taipei being the largest). I'll also be near the coast...not a bad deal. I can travel easily through the country because I'll be near the high speed rail system. I'll also be fairly close to the oldest city in Taiwan, Tainan City. Tainan City also has the most temples in the country. I think I'll be able to keep busy in my off time if this is where I'm living.

From what I can tell, I'll be living with the president of the parent's association. I have some trepidation about this. I never want to disturb others' home lives. I struggled with the same issue as I lived with friends after moving out of my ex-boyfriend's house. I just hate disrupting anyone's home life. It is a good thing for me though. I will have a surrogate family who can help me if I need it and show me around. I also have to assume that they speak English fairly well or they wouldn't feel comfortable having me in their home (I could be very wrong on this point so keep your fingers crossed for me).

I guess this is just another milestone on this fantastic journey. I'm a person who likes to be in the know. It was frustrating for the last few weeks to not know where I would be living. I feel a certain comfort in knowing where I will be living and working next year.

Now, the researcher in me is off to find out everything I can about my new home. I love the world wide web!

Fear and Fearlessness

As the school year comes to a close, the reality of going to Taiwan is beginning to hit me. I'm becoming increasingly nostalgic as I begin to clean out my classroom. When I moved into that room two years ago, I believed my life was finally settled. I was in a completely different place. Now, I'm packing things up and will soon be turning over the keys. It will no longer be my home away from home.

Lately, I've been wondering if I'm crazy for doing this. My life is in a great place. I have a wonderful job in a very supportive school. I've learned so much from my colleagues and students. I've made so many new friends as well as strengthened and renewed old friendships. I have a fantastic life here. Why would I want to disturb that?

I know deep down that because I have a fantastic life that I need to disturb it. This is the best time to shake things up and make some big changes. My friends will be there no matter where I am in the world. It's because of their support that I am, in part, able to do this. I stand to gain so much from this experience.

There have been many who say I'm fearless for doing this. They've told me it takes guts to leave everything and travel half-way around the world. What they don't know is that I'm scared witless. I've always wanted to travel internationally but this goes beyond travel.

I'll be immersed in a foreign culture for a year. No family member or friend will be within a days drive or short flight like in the past. This goes beyond long-distance.

I know I have a strong personality and usually adapt well and make friends easily but this is one of the biggest challenges in my life. Ninety-nine per cent of me is sure that I will do this and love every moment. However, I have my moments where the other one per cent creeps up on me and I beginning questioning my abilities to do this.

I know it's only natural to have those fears. My friends who have lived abroad assured me the fears will melt away once my feet touch foreign soil. In fact one good friend believes, I will enjoy is so much that I won't return. Who knows?

I guess as I go through this and prepare to leave August 16 for this amazing journey, I'm learning more about myself than I ever thought I would. One thing I have come to understand is that no one is fearless. Some of are just able to make our fear work for us rather than against us. I use my fear as a trigger to remember all the things I will gain from this journey and suddenly that fear becomes excitement and anticipation.

Taiwan or bust!

Last week I got an e-mail with a one-word subject that sent me into a tizzy. The subject was Congratulations! and it came from the man who interviewed me for the Teach in Taiwan program. I never knew how much impact one word could have on me. My hands immediately began shaking, my eyes started to tear up and I could only verbalize three words...Oh my God! Hard to believe that I, of all people, was rendered speechless. I didn't realize just how much I wanted this position until I had those reactions.

I've been spending the last week sharing the good news. My life has been on hold since I started the interview process. It was difficult to commit to things for the summer and early next fall because I just didn't know where I would be. Now, I can finally say yes or no. The uncertainty is gone. I AM going to Taiwan for a year. I'm ecstatic.

I am having my moments of anxiety. My school district denied my request for a leave of absence. I'm teaching in a top-notch district and in a wonderful school. My co-workers are fantastic and I wonder if I'm crazy for giving that up. However, when I think of all I stand to gain, my doubts begin to disappear. The entire staff is so supportive about this, as well as my family and friends. It's scary moving to a new town, let alone a new country. I know I will never regret it though. Once I'm there, I'm sure the anxiety will begin to melt away. I mean, how can I be anxious in a country that is 85% Buddhist?

I have so many preparations. I want to work on learning some Mandarin Chinese before I leave so I can at least ask where a bathroom is (you know that's essential to learn). I need to figure out what to take with me and what to store (including where to store it). I have to plan for my finances...mainly the debt I need to continue paying down while I'm gone. I also need to decide if I want to sell my car and furniture.

Because I won't have a job waiting for me when I return, I realized my options are wide open for me when my time in Taiwan is finished. I could stay another year. It seems that many of the teachers who were part of this program were offered a job for a second year. I've also heard positive things about teaching at American Schools for the department of defense. I've always wanted to live in a big city so maybe I'll come back to the states and just move to Chicago, Philly, Atlanta, New York or someplace else that's bigger than Columbus. There are so many directions I can go. It's a good thing I have a little more than a year to make a decision.

At this point, I'm just really excited and can't way to discover all that this new adventure has in store for me.

Going Abroad...Maybe...

I'm a bad, bad blogger. It's been quite a while since my last post. Not that it matters much. I don't think anyone is really reading this. A lot has happened since I last posted. I went from being in a long-term relationship to single. I moved into a new apartment. I lost 50 pounds. I reconnected with a number of old friends. Most of all, my outlook on life has changed. I feel more positive and just happy with myself and my life.

There could be more changes in store for me, as well. I applied for a teaching program in Taiwan. Applications are due April 7 and then the Ohio Dept of Ed will conduct phone interviews. They're estimating the teachers selected to go will know by late April or early May. This is a fantastic opportunity to learn about a new culture and possibly a new language. If chosen, I would live there for a year and teach English to elementary students.

Now is the time for me to do this. I have no family commitments to worry about. In addition, I may be "laid off" by my school district next year. In the education community, we call that a "RIF" or reduction in force. I'm on the low end of the totem pole so that means I would be among the first to be RIFed. If I'm going to Taiwan, then I don't have to worry about finding another job.

I have to admit that I'm a little scared about the possibility of living in another country for a year. It's also an exhilarating thought. I've always wanted to travel but in the past finances have made that difficult for me. I've been envious of my friends who had the chance to see the world. It seems like my chance is finally here and I get to continue doing the work that I love on top of it all. The only other country I've ever been in is Canada. That was for two days when I was 17 and really didn't expose me to a completely different culture. This is a radical departure for me.

I worry that I won't be able to adjust well. I can make friends easily in my own culture but will that happen in another country? I hope so. I want to see the world and this is doing that in a big way. I won't be just traveling for a week or two. It's a full year living abroad. Wow! I think I'm ready for this.

The fact still remains that I have to compete against other teachers in Ohio for 5 to 10 positions. I have no idea how many people will apply or what my competition is like. There could be very few applicants or hundreds. All I can do right now is wait and hope for the best.

Because my job is not safe for next year, I've begun to consider moving abroad whether I get this position or not. Jobs are plentiful for those who want to teach English...especially in Asian countries. They pay well and the cost of living is very low in some of those countries. It would be such a rich experience. I think I might be going overseas next school year no matter the outcome for the Taiwan program. The bright side of that is I have more control over where I go. Though, I have no idea where that might be. I guess I better start researching.