Teacher

The title says it all. That's what I am and I think, in my heart, that's what I've always been. I didn't take the direct route to get to a career I love but I'm here now and I can't imagine doing anything else.

I just finished watching a movie about a teacher named Brad Cohen. Brad has Tourette's Syndrome and he didn't get very much support from his teachers growing up. He was always considered the troublemaker. He wrote a book about his experience which became the movie I saw. However, it wasn't Brad's struggle or his illness that resonated with me as I watched. It was the kind of teacher he was.

Brad was hired to take a class three weeks into the school year. The second grade was overcrowded so he was taking the overflow. One of the other teachers on his team apologized for putting Tommy in his class. She said Tommy had a whole alphabet attached to him and she told Brad her advice was to "just let special ed have him." Later in the movie, Brad is working with Tommy on his reading during a detention. Tommy complains that he doesn't like reading and Brad says "I'm not giving up on you." I immediately began to cry.

In my short career, I've had plenty of Tommies (and I'm sure there will be more). I've always felt the same way as Brad. Not once did the option of "giving up" ever cross my mind for these students. More than anything, I just wanted to find what worked for my Tommies. I wanted them to succeed.

There was another scene where Brad attends the funeral of one of his second graders (she had cancer). He was hesitant to attend the service for fear of disrupting it but the mother said he was her daughter's favorite teacher and he should be there. I hope I never have to deal with that situation but once again, I felt his loss acutely. I know if that would happen to one of my students, I would do everything I could to help my student and I know I would be devastated by the loss.

Watching a teacher as committed to the profession as I am just reinforced my passion for my career. It also made me feel good that there are others out there who "get it". I want to be that teacher that a student remembers 20 years from now and says "Yeah, Ms. Kayla believed in me and I achieved my goals."

All that being said, it also saddened me to be thinking about that. My contract is quickly coming to an end in Taiwan. When I left the U.S., the economy was in a downturn but not quite this bad. Even so, teaching is a little more stable than other careers and I have teaching in Taiwan on my resume. Everyone told me "You'll get hired right away."

Now, I'm facing uncertainty. The numbers are against me. Schools are increasing class sizes and decreasing faculty. As that is happening, more people are entering teaching because they lost their jobs in other fields and think education is a good option for work now. Even urban school districts, which are notorious for always having openings, are cutting back on hiring.

After three years of finally doing my dream job, I'm facing the possible reality of not being in the classroom next school year. This scenario fills me with dread. There are the financial concerns involved but I've always been able to get by when it comes to supporting myself. I'm a hard worker and will do whatever it takes to earn money and pay my bills. The paycheck isn't my concern.

The thought of not walking into a classroom everyday starting next fall is a nightmare to me. I feel like that's a year lost to making a difference in this world. My students give so much to me. What's more, there is so much I want to give to them. I want to tell them, just like Brad Cohen told Tommy, "I'm not giving up on you...I never will." My greatest fear is that I will lose that time and not have that opportunity.

My heart is heavy with the possibility of being a teacher and not teaching next year but I haven't given up. I found a job in a tough job market before and it's still early in the game. I still have two weeks of teaching left in Taiwan and I hope to make the most of them. When I get home, I'm hitting the job search process with determination.

My goal is to teach for Chicago Public Schools where there are some amazing things going on in education. However, I want to teach and so I won't rule out other places where there is a job for me. It just means I'll have to try for Chicago another year. The reality is I am a teacher. As long as I'm doing that, everything else will work out.