A Wedding...Taiwanese Style

On October 19, I had the opportunity to attend a Taiwanese wedding. Now, I'm usually not a big fan of weddings (at least not the ones I have to attend...I still love watching on TV though). However, I heard and read from many sources that if you get invited to a Taiwanese wedding....GO! Everyone was right. It's an experience you must have. My only regret is that I didn't bring my camera.

My Principal's son was getting married. She invited all of us foreign teachers. I was the only one able to attend. That's not a problem for me. I moved to Taiwan alone. I think I can handle a wedding alone.

First, you need to know the tradition of the red envelope. The red envelope is just that a red envelope filled with money. It's a gift given during special occasions like Chinese New Year and weddings. It's customary to give at least 1200 NT (about 36 USD) per person as a gift. If you bring a guest, that means you double the sum you're giving. Never give a gift of money with a four in the amount. Four is to the Chinese what 13 is to Westerners. That's because the Chinese words for four and death are extremely close in sound. They even build buildings without fourth floors.

I arrived at the Ambassador Hotel with red envelope in hand. As soon as I arrived, I knew this was a high class affair. The Ambassador was obviously a high end hotel located in the heart of Kaohsiung right along the Love River. The signs were in Chinese but I found the one with two hearts and followed the arrow on it up stairs.

I immediately saw people I knew from school. Alice was taking red envelopes along with two other women. They would open the envelope and record the amount given and who gave it. The also directed me to sign a long piece of paper (similar to our Western guest books). I was quickly ushered to the principal who was dressed to the nines in formal evening attire for some pictures. Then I had three or four people from school escort me to my friend Alexis (the Principal's niece and former Wu Fu English teacher) and my seat.

I was in awe of the sheer number of people that were there. There had to be nearly 1000 guests or just under. There was a huge stage at the front of the room with the western style wedding cake on one side and a pyramid of champagne glasses on the other. The musicians were in the middle and the singer was wandering through the tables on the floor.

Just after I sat down, a screen came down showing a slide show of the couple. Alexis explained that in Taiwan, couples have their wedding photos done in advance. It's a full scale photo shoot like you would have for any major fashion magazine. They wear different outfits and have their hair and make-up done (yes, the groom too). I think I counted four or five different "scenes" (including different gowns for each) for this couple.

Soon the show began and I do mean show. Actual wedding ceremonies are small and private. They're only between the immediate families. The banquets are where the action's at. The lights dimmed and children in bedazzled and sequined costumes representing Disney characters came dancing down the main aisle of the hall. Then they performed a choreographed routine to Tony Basil's "Mickey" on the big stage.

Next, was the grand entrance of the bride and groom. The groom was lead down the aisle by a Native American chief in full headdress. The bride followed wearing a traditional white wedding gown. She was escorted by a Native American princess. There was music playing and all eyes were on the bride and groom. All the while, the banquet is in full swing. By the time the bride and groom made it to the stage, we had already been served our second of 12 courses.

The show continued. There were young ballet dancers from Beijing that danced to the Chinese version of "Memories" from Cats. The parents made speeches. The governor of Kaohsiung County was there and made a speech as well as other government officials. The Native American chief and princess presented the bride and groom with a card. The happy couple was also made to shout their love for each other on stage and kiss in front of all the guests.

The food was outstanding. It was traditional Chinese fare with a ritzy twist. By course eight or nine I was stuffed and had trouble continuing to sample everything. Different groups walked around to every table to toast the day and the happy couple. We toasted with fresh guava juice. I love guava juice. The bride and groom also made the toasting rounds with their parents. At that point, the bride had a new hairstyle and beautiful deep burgundy ball gown with gold accents.

I had Chinese class so I had to leave the banquet a little early but things were wrapping up anyway. Alexis walked me out to help me take part in the last wedding custom. The bride and groom stand at the exit with trays that have candy, their picture, and a small gift (in this case a purple bead lotus flower). This is to thank their guests for coming. Alexis taught me the Chinese phrase to say to them but I forget. It's along the lines of our congratulations or good luck. The bride was in her third ball gown of the evening with yet another elaborate hairstyle. This dress was a deep, rich red that reminded me of a gothic princess. I think it was my favorite of the three.

I wondered when the bride and groom have time to eat during all this hoopla. I know at American weddings (which even the largest are small compared to this) many times the bride and groom don't really get to enjoy their meal and end up going hungry. Alexis told me not to worry. The happy couple actually gets to eat in the hotel room before the festivities start because they have no chance to eat during the actual banquet.

I also found out that unlike in the west there is not just one party but two. I attended the banquet hosted by the groom's family. This banquet is mainly for his family, friends and his and his parent's business associates. My principal told me that this weekend she was off to Taichung to do the same thing all over again for the bride. Wow!

After experiencing a Taiwanese wedding, the western wedding pales in comparison. The Taiwanese know how to celebrate in style. I have another teacher friend who attended a smaller wedding in her town the same weekend. They might not have had all the performances but she reported many of the same experiences...a delicious twelve course meal, 3 beautiful gowns for the bride, gifts from the bride and groom at the end, constant rounds of toasting. All the major elements were present, just with less people. All I have to say is the Taiwanese know how to do it up in style where weddings are involved.

Birthday in Taiwan

I just turned 32-years-old and I celebrated in a foreign country. What an experience to have a birthday in Taiwan!



A few weeks ago, all the foreign teachers in Kaohsiung County (county in Taiwan = state in U.S.) had dinner with the governor. During the dinner, the governor's secretary, Kris, invited me along with the other foreign teachers to join the English conversation group that some of the county employees have. I mentioned that my birthday was around that time. Kris got so excited and decided to turn the dinner into a birthday party for me. So now, I'm had a birthday party being thrown by the government. This is wild and I just keep thinking this would never happen in the States.



The party was a full on Taiwanese banquet and, apparently, I was the guest of honor. That was a wild concept in my mind. Most of the other foreign teachers in the country were there and many government officials. There was so much food it was almost obscene. Traditional Chinese banquets serve food family style from a giant lazy suzy (lazy susan in the States) in the center of the table. I think there were 10-12 courses at this dinner. The food was never ending. There was also Taiwanese red wine and Taiwan Beer (brand name).





I was sitting next to a man named, Hup. Hup is the Director of Civil Affairs (disclaimer: any names and titles could be wrong because I'm writing this from memory two weeks after the event and the name cards they gave me are all in Chinese). Kris kept telling Hup he wasn't doing his job because I wasn't drunk. Hup, however, was drunk and having a good time with his Taiwan Beer. It was a Tuesday night and my principal was there so I had absolutely no intention of getting drunk anyway. Kris tried to help me feel more comfortable with imbibing more. He asked my principal if I could have the next day off. Of course, she said yes but I knew I was really expected in school the next day. Furthermore, I had no intention of taking the day off. I had work I wanted to do.





The cake they bought me was stunning. One thing you learn quickly in Taiwan is baking is an art form. There are coffee shops with baked goods on every corner. The cakes in the cases are outstanding. I love to just look at them. Even better...they're cheap. Such an elaborate cake in the U.S. would cost more than $40 or $50. Here, you might pay $15-$20 USD. They taste good, too. Everyone sang to me and I blew out a candle just like back home. Then I was asked to cut the cake. This is an important tradition. The birthday person makes only one cut into the cake for good health. You DO NOT cut a whole piece or it's bad luck. You just make the first cut and then someone else finishes cutting for you. The cake tasted as divine as it looked.



We enjoyed the good food and conversation for awhile. Soon Kris stood up. Thanked everyone for attending and then said the party is over. Another banquet rule in Taiwan, when the party is over, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here. The beginning time is flexible but the end time is firm. In the U. S. you always have people who linger and talk. Our parties end much more gradually. I don't mind this cultural difference. It's nice to know when I'll be getting home.

My students also celebrated with me at school. My advanced sixth graders surprised me with flowers, chocolates and a speech in English during class on my birthday. They're teacher came in and took pictures as they presented me with their gifts and a card. They also sang to me in English and Chinese. They're a challenging bunch to teach but still a fun group of kids. My principal also came into class and presented me with a small statue as a gift. Then she took pictures of me will all my grade 6 students in that class. Needless to say, I didn't get a whole lot of teaching done that day.

All day, students visited my office with little notes and gifts. One little girl, Ruby, brought me a bear in a wedding gown that was one of her toys and a blank book with a happy birthday note she wrote in English and another note that her friend wrote. It was so sweet because I'm not actually her English teacher but she always talks with me in the English office. All the students are like that. They are so eager to use their English so they can speak to the foreign teacher. They make any of the tough parts of living in a foreign country worth it.

Below are some more pictures from my party. I hope you enjoy.










Okay...so Xiao Hu wasn't at my party but she's so darn cute. I just had to show her off. She's getting so big.

Sucker!

*Editor's note: I mention below that cat's tails are crooked because of human intervention. However, one of my reader's pointed me in the right direction. Street cats are too quick for someone to catch them and break their tails (I've found this out personally). Most Taiwan street cats have crooked, short or kinked tails because most have some Japanese Bobtail blood in them. It's the hallmark of that breed to have an irregular tail. Japan left their mark on Taiwan during their occupation in the early part of the 20th century that is still evident today. I guess they left their mark on the Taiwanese cats, too.

I was sufficiently warned before I left the states about the problem Taiwan has with stray animals...particularly dogs. You will see them everywhere you go but they're nothing like strays in the states. These dogs are friendly and docile. Furthermore, the WHO has declared Taiwan a rabies free country which means you don't need to worry about that disease.

These dogs will wander in and out of stores and restaurants and no one pays them any mind. Many times foreign friends and I laugh about this. A dog in a restaurant would shut it down immediately in the States. The Taiwanese do have dogs for pets but I've noticed they prefer the smaller dogs that they can carry around. I have always referred to those as "rat dogs". I'm not a dog person but if I were, I'd want something that wouldn't fit in my purse.

Taiwan also has stray cats wandering around. You won't see as many of these as dogs. I believe there's a number of reasons why. Cats are considered lazy and bad luck by the Taiwanese. At least, that's what my students tell me. Most street cats have mangled and deformed tails. I was told this is because people break their tails to stop the bad luck (I haven't had this reason verified so I don't know that it's true). I also imagine many of the street cats lose battles with the dogs and become dinner. I suppose it's survival of the fittest at work.

Everyone warned me to not rescue one of these animals. It's difficult to find English speaking vets and sometimes it's difficult to take them home when your time is finished in Taiwan. I was resolved to follow this advice.

That is until I saw a kitten almost get pulverized by a car on my way home from school. Another foreign English teacher gave the kitten and I a ride to a vet in my neighborhood. I struck gold and he spoke English. He informed me the kitten was a one-month-old girl. She was healthy but dehydrated and malnourished. I said I would foster her until I could find her a home and he didn't charge me for the visit. I left the office resolved to find her a home and started by refusing to name her.

However, I'm a sucker and have been yearning for a new cat since shortly after I put my cat, Squirt, to sleep nearly four years ago. By Sunday, I had an e-mail from someone interested in her and my heart dropped to my stomach. She followed me everywhere around my apartment and loved sleeping on my lap. She even cried when I wouldn't let her sleep on my bed. She had made me hers. By Monday, she had the name Xiao Hu (little tiger in Chinese).

I have no worries about adopting Xiao Hu. There's a wonderful organization in Kaohsiung called BARK. They rescue street animals and find them homes. They will give me kitty litter and will spay and microchip her for free. I'm only responsible for her vaccinations. They know that the stray population is too big to find homes for every animal here so they have a CNR program (catch and release). There are strays that they catch, de-sex and release back onto the streets so they cannot contribute to increasing the stray population. BARK will also send pets to the States at their expense to anyone who wants to provide them a home. Check out their web site at www.bark-taiwan.org (Hint...hint...they accept PayPal donations).

Now, I'd like to introduce you to Xiao Hu. Who couldn't love a kitten this cute?